If My Calculations are Correct...

...Slinky + escalator = Everlasting fun!

Best e-mail I've ever sent someone.

Gotta go.

I Must Keep Reminding Myself of This

And now, a discussion of my favorite band.

Oddly, it is actually rare that I go on a binge of listening to nothing but Tool, but I always instantly respond with them when asked about favorite bands. Others come and go, some NIN stuff I like and dislike, and I guess Tool's somewhat the same way, but where it comes to songs that strike me emotionally, in more than just a "hey, that lyric's neat" kinda way, Tool's usually hit. Generally, where I find quotable lyrics far more often in NIN and Linkin Park songs, Tool's music seems to generally just strike a chord inside me, both in the lyrics of certain songs, as well as the actual music behind it.

If I were to make a list of top 100 songs, however, the song linked above would, without a doubt, be number one. I am enough of a fan of it that it inspired me to quote it in the display message on my cell phone. To tell you the kind of guy I am, my desktops on all my computers are, 99% of the time, blue. Just blue. Flat blue. Oddly enough, I have had most people I know ask me why my cell phone says "Patience," and I never tell them "favorite Tool song." The song means more to me than that.

Anyway, I implore any person who has yet to hear said song to go Kazaa the thing as soon as possible. It's not a single from the album, so it's unlikely you've just "heard it," unless some radio DJ's on the same kick I am.

I linked the lyrics above, since there will be some discussion on my behalf about them, but the lyrics don't mean much without the music behind it, something that Tool is exceptional about. The amount of simple little stutters in the bridges in the song make it a song that is extremely difficult to sing along to, which only helps further the song's theme. I'm always a big fan of "hooks" in music, such as the slight guitar riff after the first chorus of A Perfect Circle's "Judith," or the extremely weird rhythm work in "Lateralus" off Tool's album of the same name, and The Patient is no different.

But, being the frustrated member of the grunge era that I am, this song seems to speak to me, and provide hope, something that very few outlets do anymore. One said at one point that the grunge era ended because people just got over being sad. Some of us have a harder time than others, and when I look at the havoc being wrought on the world by our government, complete strangers on a day to day basis, and even the pains we put ourselves through, I don't really understand where the happiness comes from. You'd think after 24 and a half years, I'd have figured that out.

But, I am, at heart, a problem solver. I do not necessarily solve the problems, but I am most happy when solving a problem. I am a total procrastinator, but the process involved in getting things done makes me happy. While I will sit for hours working through my finances to pay everything off, I will never actually do any of that, and end up in more debt than I began with. It's a vicious circle. More of a line, really, but, well, you get it.

There are always, however, problems which resolve themselves, something my acute ear pain of late has taught me very well. Sometimes, you just have to grit your teeth, bear down, and know that, eventually, it'll all end, and you can move on. And that's a concept that I have a very difficult time grasping, that sometimes the best action is no action.

One theme from the song down.

America, in general, is a nation devised on getting what we want, when we want it. We don't want to drive to a restaurant to eat, we want it delivered. Don't have a phone? No problem! The perfectly logical answer, of course, is that Pizza Hut will not deliver to your house if you call them on your cell phone, they require a land line. Which is when you dial up that website on your cell phone, and proceed to take an hour and a half to order a pizza you could have gone to a pay phone and ordered in half the time. Or, you know, driven to the restaurant itself.

We want to walk down the street with 300 hours of songs on our iPods, a cell phone, a wallet, a two-way, and a million other devices that ensure that anything we need is at our fingertips. Heck, we don't even want to walk down the street. Someone fetch me Segway, I'm too lazy to walk over there and get it.

While all of these little things are, well, little, there is a statement being made there. I cannot fathom why anyone would want 4 gigs of music at their fingertips at all times. You don't get the opportunity to make huge, drawn-out blog posts if you only hear a particular song once every 2 millenia. We, as Americans, are trained to go through life, to get to our destination, without taking the time to relish the trip itself. As part of your training, I have just written three paragraphs when I could have just said "stop and smell the roses." But if I had said that, you wouldn't have gotten that awesome Segway quip out of me.

Point two down.

Finally, there is a far more personal agenda in there, one which I don't think I'll get too much into, because I don't think there are many who'd even care. But, I think that people generally want things that they are simply unprepared for, or that are simply unavailable to them at the given time. It can be as basic as "damn, 3 hours left of work," or as complex as "damn, only med school, internship, a doctoral thesis, and I can finally start practicing!"

Life, from a certain point of view, is a test of patience, of being able to let things go until it matters. Dealing with the stress of everday life is horrifying, at some times. I spent the past two hours trying to figure out how to get into the house where I live, as I have no key, no means of getting one, and the doors were locked. But behind all of that stress, of simply trying to get past that asshole who spilled his beer on your new sweater, there is a deeper level of desire, things that you want out of life, the place you want to be, the mark you want to place on the world, or on people, or on person. Whereas it's easy to wash the sweater, it's not always easy to establish a set listing of what you need to do in order to accomplish your life's work.

In the end, we all go through the struggle with the promise of a better day ahead. But there is, truly, no promise, only hope. Tomorrow has every bit a chance of being worse than today as it has of being better, but you can't know that. All you know is that someday, it will get better. Things cannot progressively grow worse forever.

"And if there were no rewards to reap,
No loving embrace to see me through,
This tedious path I've chosen here,
I certainly would have walked away,
By now..."

Adventures with Wacky Customers I: Todd

Third post. Really, this series should be started with the Vietnam vet who has threatened to kill half the station, but it's been a while since he's popped up and annoyed us, so we begin with the most randomly weird thing to happen in a while:

Working with Sean, a guy whom neither of us have ever seen before walks up to the counter, and says "I bought this for you guys, my friends at the Phillips station." He then proceeds to place his gift on the counter. It is a horribly ugly metal bird of some kind, most resembling a stork. It has springs for a neck and legs, generating a jarring clanking sound whenever the god-awful thing is shaken. Remainder of conversation:

Guy: "I think it's really beautiful, you guys should keep this on the counter."
Sean: "Uh, thanks."
Guy: "My name's Todd, nice to meet you."

Then he walks out.

Sean and I, dumbfounded, proceed to try to sell the thing to customers the entire night for 20 bucks. Alas, we did not succeed. So now I'm stuck with the damn thing, since Sean quit.

And Todd's still coming in. Luckily, he has yet to say anything about the Chicken, which is residing atop our lottery scratch-off box, and for that I am grateful, as I'm sure I'd have no idea what to respond with.

Number Two

And by that, I don't mean I'm taking a crap. Well, I am sorta, but, well, you'll see.

As I have no doubt, just about anyone who's reading this likely has read one of the massive number of Decipherian blogs and them talking about all the bittersweet memories they have of working there.

I sat last night at work, attempting, somewhat, to find some good memories there, and failing. Which is a really caustic statement, but, well, I was miserable. Thing is that it wasn't all Decipher's fault, it was mostly mine. There are good times, don't get me wrong. Walking into the office like Santa Claus carrying a huge EB bag which contained an XBox, three more controllers, two games, and other random crap amuses me quite a bit.

Probably the fondest memories I have of Decipher were goofing off with Bishop when we were both interns. Really, we had nothing to do, and were being paid by Decipher primarily as a courtesy, but they were good times. I learned nothing during this period, primarily nothing about how to work in an office environment, something I imagine I'm still not terribly good at.

Most of my vitriol is somewhat contained, there were mistakes made, and circumstances made things difficult. It was while working at Decipher that my girlfriend of, eventually, 6 years, broke up with me. Twice. And it was while working at Decipher that my beloved grandmother passed away. Following my theory on age (which someone will need to remind me to post about), I can find very few memories that stuck with me as things I won't forget. Some things I am very proud of, such as the foil and iconography work, and some things I am not. Like the O-word. I am happy to have worked there, despite my largely bitter memories of the time, because Decipher taught me a very valuable lesson, one which I am inclined to repeat to my friends here every time they complain about their jobs.

No matter what job you hold, some part of it sucks. And you have to deal with it.

Apparently, none of them listened, though, as they all quit on me. I feel like I'm on night 15 of 1001.

In the end, I feel as though, on leaving for St. Louis, that I had left my parents in Decipher's care, not that they needed caring for. And in the end, a company which my father worked his ass off for, even without thought of payment in his tournament directing years, and which he told me on a regular basis was his "dream job," turned its back on him. I can understand their decision, but I can't forgive them for letting him go.

I hope that the remainder of my friends at Decipher bank enough cash and man hours to enable them to get better paying jobs elsewhere. Then I won't feel any regret when I hope that the company rots. But until that time, those that remain, good luck. You're gonna need it.

Flurry of Posts

Probably be at least three posts in rapid succession. Why not compress them into one post? I ramble, but at least I hold to a point when I ramble.

First post, being this one, I figure there should be some information about myself here. To be honest, I'm a guy making a blog who hates reading blogs, but I think I've identified my hatred for reading blogs as "who the hell is this person, and where the hell do they get off?"

The important things out of the way:

Religion: Not going to talk about it, except how it affects somewhat realistic things. My views are horribly depressing, and I have yet to meet a single soul who has had any desire to discuss my religion past the first sentence I speak on it. Anything I say about religion will likely be in reference to separation of church and state, which is rather a hot button issue of mine at the moment.

Party Affiliation: None. I lean mostly liberal on civil rights issues, and mostly conservative on just about everything else. Let me do what I want, and if the druggie on the corner can't pull himself out of the gutter, then let him stay there.

Abortion: Pro-choice. Or as I like to call it "anti-life." I mean, if the other side is pro-life, that means I'm against life, right?

Gay Marriage: Pro. Any argument to the contrary is semantic bullshit. And I can get semantic with the best of them.

Terry Schiavo: I read in the Post the other day that her parents were tired of the media attention, and that they just wanted to be left alone. I also read that her husband was simply quietly assenting to her demands. I don't care about the issue at hand, I've never been in that situation. Like most civil rights issues, I lean toward "let me choose," though I suppose this is giving up the rights to someone else. Anyway, my take on that case is that her parents are two of the most irresponsible, horrible parents that I've seen to take what is solely a family conflict, and take it so far as to get the President of the United States making a stand on it. On that basis alone, whatever side they're on, I'm on the other side.

War in Iraq: I support our troops. I don't support the knucklehead who sent them there.

Boxers. Women. And sandwiches. Because we're all in favor of sandwiches.

Next post to follow.

Episode IV: A New Hope

Dunno about the Hope part, but it seems as good a title as any...

Anyway, for a first post, I guess I should lay out my ground rules, such as that is. Since this blog is intended for other people more than it is intended for me, I guess it should be populated with stuff more intended for other people to see. Most likely, it will be amusing anecdotes about life in St. Louis, probably more than my fair share of gaming references, and being pissed about random things that aren't worth being pissed about.

I've always found blogging to be a rather weird phenomenon. If you think of blogging in terms of real life, we are the annoying whackos sitting on a street corner, just spouting random crap that have nothing to do with anything. And yet, somehow, people manage to develop what could be called a fan base. It could also be equated to some obscure art circle, wherein only the members of the circle really "get it." Thy are the only ones who ever make comments about the circle itself, while unintentionally ostracizing people, in that friendly "you remember that time with that thing and that guy?" kind of way.

I also ramble, in case you haven't noticed...

The few quotes lately which have seemed to define my life, then I'll move on and browse random WoW sites until the mood strikes me to write some more:

"If life's not beautiful without the pain, then I'd rather never...see beauty again." -- Modest Mouse, "The View"

Paraphrased: "Your first love never truly goes away." -- How to Deal

Ditto: "I'm scared because I care about you, and that means you can hurt me." -- How to Deal

Alright, I guess I lied about the less melodrama portion of our program...

"You are conspiring against family, you are no longer part of family." -- Rodger, former coworker and current roommate, impersonating Shiraz, current boss, commenting on his weird habit of telling everyone we're part of a family, yet screaming incessantly about us conspiring to bring him down.